Being 3

I am amazed at how clueless my children think I am. Sometimes I can actually see the wheels turning in their heads as they concoct a plan to convince me of the benefits of going along with their grand notions. The whispered conferences between the girls, the side-glance at Mom to make sure she isn't seeing what is really going on, the coy smiles, the innocent, angelic faces as they prepare the cover-up. If they only knew I tried to play my parents with the same tactics, they would see the fruitlessness of their plans! Here are a couple of conversations I have had with Ben this week.......

Setup: Ben finds two cough drops in the girl's room and thinks they are candy. I try to convince him they aren't candy, but he doesn't believe me. I let him have one because they are all-natural, Jacob's asleep and I am too tired to put up a fight. Later Ben comes to me and says....

Ben: "Mom, that candy was so good it went down my throat and into my tummy. Can I have another one?"
Me: "No, you can't have another one. I said earlier you could only have one."
Ben: "Okay, Mom."
Still standing in front of me, he eyes our gumball machine that has Starbursts in it. Ben scrunches up his face, rubs his tummy and says...
Ben: "Oh, Mom. My tummy hurts. I need some candy to make it feel better."


Setup: Ben is chasing Jacob down the hallway. Jacob is screaming for mercy, Ben is laughing that he is causing such panic. A thud, pictures rattle, Jacob cries.

Me: "Ben!"
Ben: "It wasn't me Mom, the wall hit him!"


Setup: Hannah and Ben are sitting on the couch watching a movie. I am in the kitchen making lunch with a perfect view of what is happening. Ben hits Hannah.

Hannah: "Ben! Don't hit me!"
Ben hits her again.
Hannah: "Ben!"
Ben hits her again.
Hannah cries, "Ben, stop!"
I come into the living room, Ben spies me out of the corner of his eye, adjusts his expression, lovingly strokes Hannah's arm and says...
"It's okay, Hannah, monsters aren't real. You don't have to cry."

Several days later, I am sitting on the couch reading, Ben crawls up next to me and I tell him I love him and he replies, "Yes, you do Mom, because I haven't been big trouble today."